Spending time with the Children

In a radio interview, Dr Billy Graham, while talking about spending time with children, said that one thing that he wished he had differently in his life was to spend more time with his family. He wanted to pray with them, listen to them, understand them and accept them as they are.

Some recent studies have shown that men spend only about 10 minutes a day with their children. If men do not spend adequate time with the children, then the father will become a stranger to the children and their place of stay will not be a home but a lodge.

Once a famous evangelist was asked about the time that he spent with family. He reported, “I keep Wednesdays as week off to be with my family. When I am away; in meetings I write letters – in 18 days I sent 12 letters. I also contact them through phone. I make it a point to spend time with them even in late night. I also talk with them and work with them”.

When asked about their reaction to his absence from home for the ministry, he replied, “My wife loves me and releases me for God’s work, because she also loves the Lord. She follows my ministry with prayer. She never complaints to the children about my travels. This prevents my children from getting angry with God and helps them to accept my absence. They pray with my wife for the ministry daily”. 

Some people think that providing all comforts will satisfy the needs of the children. Recently I read with interest about a manager of a factory. 10,000 people worked in his factory. He was provided with a big bungalow and all facilities. He had a car and many servants. He was highly respected for his hard work and intelligence in the industrial sector. He seemed to be successful to all his friends and relatives.

But he failed miserably in his family life. His son became a drug addict and was a dropout from his school. His daughter married a man of her own choice and she was paying dearly for her mistake. His wife never liked him. The reason behind the miserable failure in the family life was his failure to give time to his family. He provided all facilities and comforts to the family, but he had no time for the family.

For a Christian, spending time with the children and bringing them up in the fear of the Lord should be primary. For him, keeping up the standard of living and the status must be secondary. He should not also consider achievements and accumulation of money as his primary goal. Instead, showering affection and love on the children must be his primary goal in life. Here are a few ways by which you can spend your time with the children. 

1. Give your children, the best part of your day. Always plan your time to suit their time and convenience. 
2. Take time to chat with them, especially when they return from school. Listen with interest the problems and interests that they share with you.
3. Play with the children and show interest in the games that they like. Talk with them about their sports and interests. Appreciate their successes and achievements.
4. Show interest in your children’s friends and encourage their friendship to be developed into right relationships.
5. Give your time to your children because they love to be in the presence of their parents, and simply talk with them.
6. Take them for a walk and outing periodically. That will relax them and build right relationship with you. Have time for gardening, creative work and picnic. This will bring them the satisfaction of doing things.
7. Allot a particular day in a week as a day off for the family. Spend that day or evening with the family.
8. Help the children in their studies and answer all their questions patiently and sincerely. Children expect their parents to help them in their studies and answer all their questions.
9. Spend time with each child alone to discuss his spiritual life and pray with him.
10. Plan your family devotion time, as a time of sharing, discussion and study of the Word of God. Involve them in the prayer and make the prayer time lovely and interesting.
11. When you are in the office or traveling, keep close contact with them by phone or by correspondence. Show them that you take interest to talk to them and listen to their needs.
12. Talk with them about God and teach them the Word of God. See that they develop the right attitude to life, discipline, integrity and hard work.

May the Lord help you to spend your choicest time with your children. In case you have neglected the family, decide today to give more time to your children as per the advice of A.V. Buven, “If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money”.