Secret of Success in the Family
Gary Oliver was convinced that the home plays a major role in making successful children. She wrote in ‘Models of Truth’. “The home is the window through which children get their first glimpse of God. It is also where they get their first glimpse of who they are and what they are worth. Children discover their value and worth in the mirror of those around them, by how much they are looked at, listened to and touched. Their self-esteem also is shaped by what their parents (and extended family members) say to them and about them in front of others and by how much time those adults make for them”.
A study carried out recently revealed that more than 75 percent of youngsters do not attend Church when they grow up, due to lack of teaching at home. The Bible also command parents to train up the child in the fear of the Lord. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” Pro 22:6.
The Hebrew word used in this verse for ‘to train’ is banak. The same word is used in the Bible in Num 7:10, 11; I Kings 8:63, and in Nehemiah 12:27. In these three places banak has been used for the dedication of the altar, the temple and the walls of Jerusalem respectively. So parents are called to dedicate their children for the service of God.
The Word ‘way’ in this verse refers to moral wisdom, which is the fear of God and Godly living. The Bible says that the fear of the Lord comes by the instruction of the law by the father. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother” Prov 1:7, 8.
So the children can be trained-up or dedicated for the service of the Lord by the instruction of the father. This will lead to successful living. The Bible commands that the father must disciple the children by teaching the law in Deut 6:7-9. This passage teaches three ways by which parents can disciple their children for successful living.
1. Model: The first principle that this passage says for disciplining a child’ is by being an example to the child. “These words which I command you today shall be in your heart, you shall teach them diligently to your children” Deut 6:6, 7. Here the parents are asked to keep the word ‘in the heart’. It means that they must first of all obey it. When they become a model to their children, they become qualified to teach their children diligently.
A missionary kid in a school led a witnessing life. When asked about the reason for his witnessing Christian life, he said, “It is because of the exemplary Christian life of my father. I have never seen my father receiving bribes or using harsh words to my mom”. The model life and honesty of his father challenged the boy to follow the footsteps of his father.
2. Mentor: Mentor means a trusted advisor or an educator. The Bible says that the father must diligently teach the Word of God to his children like an educator. “You shall teach them the (Word of God) diligently to your children” Deut 6:7. So the father must not only be a model to his children but also teach the Word of God diligently.
When the children are young, the father can teach them Bible stories. When they grow up, he can teach them the commandments and the concepts in the Bible along with the missionary biographies. In this manner, when the children are educated systematically by the Word of God at home, they will not be carried away by sin or philosophies of the world or by their friends.
3. Messenger: Another role of the father, to disciple the children for successful living, is to become a messenger of God and expose the Word of God to the children. This passage says that the father must talk the Word of God always in the home, in addition to teaching the Word of God. ‘You… shall talk of them when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up” Deut 6:7.
The Word talk means to expose the Word of God. This passage says that the father must talk with the children at the meal time (‘when you sit’), when spending time with them (‘when you walk’) and at the bed time (‘when you lie down and when you rise up’).
A great lawyer Francis Scott spent two times with his children to study the Word of God each day. It is no wonder that his children became spiritual leaders. Our children can become successful and fair-minded if they receive the right teaching at home. “These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness and searched the scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so” Acts 17:11. Will you decide today to become a model, mentor and a messenger to your children for success in their lives?