The Mistakes of Biblical Parents

The Bible says that the incidents in the Old Testament had “happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition” I Corinthians 10:11. Let us see some of the mistakes of the Old Testament parents to avoid committing such mistakes in our family. 

1. Partiality: Jacob showed partiality to Joseph by loving him more, and making a tunic of many colours for him. So his brothers “hated him and could not speak peacefully to him” Gen 37:3, 4. Some parents show partiality to some children like Jacob and it brings – in division and peacelessness at home.
2. Passivity: Eli was a passive father. He failed as a priest and as a father. He was harsh when he saw Hannah praying as a ‘drunk woman’ saying “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine from you” I Sam 1:14. But he was passive when his children committed adultery and defiled the sacrifices of the Lord. He did not have the courage to correct them. Eli’s children committed serious mistakes. But when they were brought to his notice, he mildly scolded them. We are called not to commit the mistake of Eli by being passive when our children commit mistakes.                                                                                    
3.  Parental division: Isaac and Rebekahwere not one in bringing up Esau and Jacob. Isaac loved Esau, and Rebekah loved Jacob. So Jacob stole the blessings of his brother and that produced not only enmity between them, but also division in the family. Rebekah went to the extent of telling lies to safeguard the interest of her beloved son. In this way, if there is difference of opinion between parents in bringing up the children, then it should be discussed in private and settled. Parental division destroys the unity and oneness in the family.
4. Procrastination: Ammon was the firstborn of David by Ahinoam the Jezreelitess. He loved his own sister Tamar and raped her. When this was reported to King David he became angry but took no action (2 Sam 13:21). This may be because he had already failed miserably in sex and could not be a model to his children. The procrastination of David, led not only to the murder of his firstborn, but also to the rebellion of Absalom and his sin with the concubines of David leading to his murder. Parents are called to be a model to their children, and take action when they go wrong. Procrastination in correcting the mistakes of children will lead only to more problems in the family.
5. Permissiveness:  Adonijah, the fourth son of David, exalted himself as King and wanted to usurp the kingdom from his father, when David was old. But King David, “had not rebuked him at any time” I Kings 1:5, 6. David was complacent and lenient in bringing up his children and it led to the execution of Adonijah. Parents need to learn from David not to be permissive in bringing up their children but be strict with them when they commit mistakes. Eli also committed the same mistake and lost his two sons in one day.
6. Parental fighting: King David danced before the Ark after removing the kingly robes. Michal, his wife, despised him by equating him as a ‘base fellow’ and calling it as a ‘shame’ 2 Sam 6:20. This type of argument and fighting in front of children will spoil the character of our children. The Bible says that it ruins the children. “A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and contentions of a wife are a continual dripping” Prov 19:13. This verse says that the son becomes a ruin to his father, due to the contentions of the mother.
   
   All arguments between husband and wife (if there is any) must be in the absence of children. Parental fighting produces insecurity for the children and they will be tempted to stay outside the house. “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with the contentious and angry woman” Prov 21:19

Who are our children?

1. They are God’s Gift: “And he lifted his eyes and saw the women and children, and said, “Who are these with you?” And he said, ‘The children whom God has graciously given your servant” Gen 33:5.

2. They are God’s heritage: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;” Ps 127:3, 4.

3.They are Crown of Old men: “Children’s children are the crown of the old men, and the glory of children is their father” Prov 17:6.